You're Engaged – Now What? Your First Steps in Wedding Planning

Firstly, congratulations! However it happened – a quiet moment on a Cornish beach, a surprise at a family party, or a question asked over a cup of tea – you’re now planning a wedding.

That can feel exciting and overwhelming in equal measure. Within a day or two, someone will ask “So when’s the big day?”, and you might not have the faintest idea. That’s completely fine.

This is the first guide in my wedding planning series. It’s written for couples marrying in the UK, as so much of the advice online is based on American customs. Here’s what I’d suggest doing next, roughly in order.

1. Enjoy the Moment

Try not to let the planning overshadow what just happened. Let it sink in. Enjoy a few quiet days together before you share the news and the questions start.

Some couples keep it to themselves for a weekend. Others are on the phone to their mum within minutes. There’s no right answer.

2. Tell Your Family and Closest Friends

Share the news with the people closest to you first, ideally before it appears on social media. Be ready for a rapid fire of questions about where and when, and a flood of opinions. You don’t need any answers yet. Just enjoy it.

3. Look After the Ring

It’s not the most romantic job, but check the ring fits properly and add it to your home insurance. A ring that’s slightly loose is easy to lose in cold weather or the sea.

4. Talk About What Kind of Wedding You Want

Before you look at a single venue, sit down together and talk about the day you’re picturing. A few questions to start with:

• Big celebration or small and intimate?
• Religious or civil ceremony?
• Local to home, or somewhere that means something to you?
• Relaxed and informal, or classic and elegant?
• What matters most to each of you: the food, the music, the photos, the party?

You won’t agree on everything, and that’s normal. Knowing your shared priorities makes every later decision easier.

5. Set a Budget

Have the money conversation early. Work out what you can afford, whether family would like to contribute, and how much you’ll save before the date. Your budget shapes your guest list, venue and date more than anything else.

If you’d like a rough idea of supplier prices, my guide to how much wedding photography costs is a good place to start.

6. Draft a Rough Guest List

You don’t need final names yet, just a rough number. Twenty guests and two hundred guests need very different venues. My guide on who to invite to your wedding will help with the tricky bits.

7. Choose a Season, Then a Date

It’s fine not to have a specific date in mind. Being flexible gives you more options, and Friday, Sunday and winter dates are often easier to book and better value. Start with a season or month, then narrow it down once you’ve seen venues.

8. Find Your Venue

Popular Devon and Cornwall venues often book 12 to 18 months ahead, especially for summer Saturdays, so the venue is usually the first thing to secure. My guides on how to choose a wedding venue and the questions to ask your wedding venue will help you get started.

9. Book Your Photographer

Once you have a date and venue, book your photographer. Like venues, the photographers you love will book up early for summer weekends.

Look for someone whose work makes you feel something, and who makes you feel relaxed. You’ll spend more of your wedding day with them than with almost anyone else.

Every one of my wedding packages includes an engagement session. It’s a lovely way to get used to being in front of the camera, and for us to get to know each other before the big day. You can see more on my wedding photography page.

10. Think About the Look and Feel

Now for the fun part. Start saving ideas that catch your eye: colours, flowers, outfits, table settings. Pinterest is perfect for this. Save freely now and edit down later, once you know your venue and theme.

11. Know the Legal Bits

In England and Wales, you’ll need to give notice of marriage at your local register office at least 29 days before the wedding. Check the current rules on gov.uk for your circumstances, and add it to your planning calendar.

What’s Next?

When you’re ready to get organised, my UK wedding planner checklist takes you month by month from 18 months to go right up to the week of the wedding.